


The Fall

by ILoveSherlocksEyes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Wings, Blue Eyes, Broken, Destiel - Freeform, Destieldestiny, Forgiveness, God - Freeform, Green Eyes, Hope, Love, M/M, Memories, Sad, Sexy Times, Smutt, Soulmates, Sunshine - Freeform, nomoremonsters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-16 08:15:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5820958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILoveSherlocksEyes/pseuds/ILoveSherlocksEyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On April 21, 1967, the 100 millionth GM vehicle rolled off the plant in Janesville-a blue two-door caprice.There was a big ceremony, speeches.The lieutenant governor even showed up.Three days later, abother car rolled off the same line.No one gave a crap about her.But they should have,because this 1967 Chevrolet Impala would turnout to be the most important car in the whole entire universe.<br/>Baby,was first owned by Sal Moriarty an alcoholic with two ex-wives and three blocked arteries.On weekends, he'd pass out bibles to the poor,"gettin' folks right for judgment day." Of course Sam and Dean didn't know any of this, but if they did I'm sure they'd laugh.<br/>After Sal died Baby ended up at Rainbow Motors, a used car lot in Lawrence,where a young marine bought her with a little advice from a friend.<br/>Baby, unknowingly to the rest of the world, helped save everyone from the apocalypse. But that doesn't really matter. Because to Sam and Dean Winchester she was home. Baby was always. Even after all the huntin' and fighting stopped she was still there. Driving Sam off to a new life and Dean...well she was there when Dean finally decided to stop and love his angel....</p><p>[A DESTIEL FANFICTION]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Screaming

**Author's Note:**

> [A DESTIEL FANFICTION] I will be using certain lines and monologues from the show but all credit goes to the writers of Supernatural. Besides that all of this story is of my own creation, SO PLEASE DONT HATE AND STEAL!
> 
> Anyways please enjoy ,vote , comment

“Father, I’m lost…I don’t know where to go…a-and I’m afraid, It’s so quiet. Father, father where are you?” 

^^^

“Dean, Dean? Are you listening to me?” Sam’s voice drifted and broke the silence that consumed Dean’s thoughts.  
“What is it Sam?” Dean sighed from his place by the hotel window. His eyes where closed and soft, warm breaths left his mouth in gusts. The cold window and the sound of thunder was the only thing stopping Dean from screaming. He didn’t want to think, he couldn’t, there was too much darkness.  
“It’s been months. There’s nothing out there anymore Dean. Just silence.” Sam waited for Dean to say or do anything. “I’ve been talking to other hunters and it’s the same thing every time, there’s no more monsters.” He waited again. “ Dean, every thing out there disappeared with you, Cas, and the leviathans. The only things left are the witches and ghosts but other hunters are already handling those.” Sam sighed and moved to the bedside table and picked up a glass of whiskey. “And Crowley hasn’t-“  
“ Okay.”  
“Okay?”  
“Whatever you’re about to ask, the answer is okay.” Dean said surely, turning from the window and looking at Sam.  
“Dean, don’t say that…you don’t know what I was going to ask.”  
“I don’t care Sam.”  
“Don’t say that. Please Dean.”  
“Well what do you want me to say Sam? Just like you said there’s no more monsters and everything else is covered.” Dean said sitting up and stretching.  
“So what’re you trying to say?”  
“What I’m trying to say Sam is that maybe it’s time for a break. I’m not to keen on settling down either but as hard as it is for me to say so I am tired. I’m tired, I’m alone, and I am so messed up, Sam you don’t even know. I need a break. So this is me saying okay, okay to whatever you want to do.” For a second it was like they were children again. Sam a clueless kid and Dean his big brother.   
Sam smiled, “ Okay Dean, thank you,” he paused and frowned again,” but I am leaving.”  
Dean smiled sadly,” I know.” Sam looked at him but then laughed. “What?” Dean said smiling fondly at his odd brother.  
“Ah, nothing…I’m just kind of happy. This is the first time in forever where everything has been ok.” He beamed at his brother. “We can go do whatever we want now.” Sam saw his brother’s face change from mild melancholy to joy, even though he knew Dean could never be truly happy.  
“I can go to the beach.” Dean smiled childishly.  
“Just like you always wanted to do.” Sammy said standing up and clapping Dean on the shoulder. “You can go to the beach, soak up some sun, barbeque, whatever you want Dean, you deserve it.” The two boys were silent for a few moments. Sam trying to imagine a life without danger and fighting and Dean quietly mourning the loss of his brother and the road.  
“Dean?” Sam interrupted frowning. “What about Cas?” He looked worriedly at Dean.  
“He’ll just have to figure something out. He always does.” Dean said slightly bitterly before turning to the window again.  
“What is it now?”  
“Nothing…I am worried about him though. He’s always alone now, off doing god-knows-what up until all hours of the night.”  
“I know, even now look at him, in the rain just sitting there he looks empty.”  
“Not empty, lost.” Dean whispered quietly against the window. Sam looked down at him in slight shock, maybe that’s why Dean had been at the window in the first place. Had he been waiting for the angel?  
Out across the green in front of the roadside hotel was a hazy grey figure hunched over a bench. The strong wind should have knocked him over, the lightning should have shocked him, the thunder, echo into his ears deafeningly but despite all this Castiel sat almost hauntingly calm amongst the raging storm. Dean couldn’t take his eyes away, even if Castiel wasn’t human anymore he should have at least known to come inside. Everything was almost perfect, there was complete silence, the only thing consuming his mind was this image, Castiel out in the cold, Dean seemed almost ghostly like he was floating, everything was numb. For the first time in years he was numb, calm.  
Yet, there was this pained voice in the back of his mind. Hidden past the darkest part of his mind, clawing, screaming, trying to break free. What are you? The hunter wanted to ask.  
Words. He didn’t have the words to describe how afraid and uncertain this voice made him. Was it another demon? A prolonged memory of one of the many things he wanted to forget? What was it? What did it mean? What was this thing trying to tell him about Castiel?  
And this, he knew, was why he was afraid. Castiel was his friend, his family, his guardian angel and now he was getting warned about him. This couldn’t be good.  
His bright green eyes settled warily on the hauntingly beautiful figure coming closer to the house.   
“We can’t just abandon him Dean. Not again.” Sam interjected breaking the fearful look that had ghosted over his tan face only seconds before.  
“Okay, so are you going to take him with you?”  
“Ha, I don’t even know what I’m doing Dean.” Sam laughed quietly.  
“So you want him to come with me?” Dean sighed running his calloused hands over his face. “ Fine, whatever but don’t blame me when he runs off again.”  
“He won’t.”  
“Who won’t?” A warm monotone voice interrupted from the bedroom doorway. Raindrops dripped quietly in a pool at the bottom of Castiel’s dress shoe clad feet. Dean quickly looked away before laughing awkwardly.  
Dean clapped Cas on the shoulder ,”We’re going on vacation, so pack your bags dork.” He paused and turned from the exit. “Oh, and take a shower or something, you’re bringing the bad weather in.”  
Castiel smiled briefly at Dean’s retreating figure before turning to Sam.  
“I don’t have any other clothes.” Sam laughed at Castiel’s concerned face.  
“Don’t worry, where your going you won’t need much.”


	2. Chapter 2:Prayers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they travel to Cali for a house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit of destiel and denial.

Dean was thankful for the silence. Without it he didn’t know what he would do. Everything was ripped away from him. Until now he didn’t realize to what extent he’d lost. Bobby was finally at peace, Crowley was leaving them alone, the hunts were practically all gone, and now Sammy his baby brother the only person that Dean had left was gone. Gone for what felt like the first time in years. Since, hell.  
^^^  
“Dean please don’t forget about Castiel.”  
Dean replayed Sam’s words over and over again. What had Sam meant? The lingering plea yet again caused Dean to stare at the angel in the passenger’s seat. He hadn’t moved, or talked, or even breathed in what Dean felt was forever but in reality it was probably only two or three hours. Surprisingly enough Castiel hadn’t even asked where they were going or why they had left Sam in Connecticut, he just agreed. He had to stop thinking.   
Dean rubbed his face with one hand, yawning before he sighed. “Cas I need some shut-eye, what’dya say to a little R&R?”   
“I don’t need rest Dean.” Cas said smiling affectionately at the green-eyed beauty. “ I can drive.”  
“You don’t even know where we’re going, besides I’m too old to be sleeping in baby.” Cas just nodded and waited before climbing out of the car at the ‘Daisy Motel’.   
Dean walked into the quietly lit office and rung a bell. An old lady with dyed lilac hair stepped out. “How can I help you sir?”  
“Can I have a room for one night?” He asked politely, smiling charmingly at the women.  
“Sure thing hun, double or single?” She said with a knowing smirk, staring expectantly at the pair. Dean gaped for a second then coughed awkwardly. This always happened to him.  
“Double.”  
“Ok then your total is $68., check out is at 11, and your room number is 123.”  
“Thank you ma’am.”  
“No problem, please enjoy your stay.” The old women smiled politely at the pair, noticing how the one with the pretty blue eyes stepped closer to the taller more protective one. She giggled quietly then quickly shook her head. They’ll admit it soon.   
^^^  
In the darkness of the motel room a shadow with bright piercingly blue eyes sat on an empty bed. Across from him, was trembling hunter. He had begun tearing off the sheets, mumbling incoherent pleas.  
Stop, stop, stop! Please let me go! Sammy, Sammy it’ll be okay ,look away Sam! I’m not a monster! I AM NOT A MONSTER!  
Quiet enochian prayers hushed and calmed the terrified dreamer, lulling him into a deep, quiet sleep.  
Only three words left the sleeping hunters mouth.  
I need you.

^^^

The ride longer then Dean had first anticipated to be. That of course was before Cas had gotten bored.   
“Dean where are we going?”  
“California, I’m surprised you didn’t know that already.”  
“Well, I have been feeling a bit human lately.”  
“From what?” Dean said glancing at the angel.  
“I’m not sure.” Cas paused furrowing his eyebrows,” California?”  
“Yah, you know for a vacation. I’m planning on spending some time at the beach.” The green eyed man said smiling softly, crows feet becoming more obvious in the fading sunlight.  
“Without Sam?”  
“For now at least, Sammy needs to figure some stuff out.”   
“I don’t think this is a good idea Dean.” Castiel’s husky voice responded, Dean frowned. “Of course nothing we do ever turns out to be a good idea.” Cas sassily said leaning farther back in the leather seat, ignoring Dean’s glare.  
“At least I try, unlike someone I know.” Dean mumbled turning left at a crossroads.  
“So your not over this yet,… I do try Dean, that’s all I do is try.” Dean was suprised at the exhaustion that was exposed in the angels voice. Maybe Cas wasn’t alright, something really was wrong. But what? Purgatory wasn’t the main problem anymore, they were both somewhat over that, and Naomi’s spell had been broken immediately after Cas’s return.   
“I know...” Dean said quickly patting the brooding angel but deep down he didn’t really.  
I don’t think you do Dean, you really don’t.   
^^^  
The long four day trip came to a stand still as Dean pulled up to a realty office on the coast of Big Sur.  
“Fix your sweater, we need to look as normal as possible.” Dean grumbled fixing a grey-blue knit that he had forced on the angel. Cas was costumed up in grey jeans, a dark blue t-shirt, and wool sweater, trying to complete the look Dean called ‘lily white, and rich’. He himself was wearing a simple navy blue button down and black slacks.  
Dean patted Castiel’s leg and quickly stepped out of the car, wallet in pocket.” Remember I’m James Moor and your my cousin Blake,” he paused and slammed the impala door stuffing the keys in his front pocket ,”if they do ask I’m a history professor and you’re a librarian.” Castiel nodded but look confused.  
“I don’t understand why we have to lie.”   
“Because if something does happen, we don’t want leave any real tracks.”  
“I guess…” Dean grabbed Castiel’s arm and quickly dragged him toward the building, releasing his arm at the door.   
“I don’t know why your so reluctant but please act normal.” They both stepped into the cool, grey building. A blond woman in a red pencil skirt and light yellow top met them in the lobby. Dean stood and smiled charmingly at her. Her eyes crinkled and she smiled back before shaking the angels hand too.  
“Hello I’m Amy Adams you must be James Moore and Blake…?” she paused ,”Moore.” Castiel answered.  
“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realize.” She apologized awkwardly looking at the two.  
Dean cringed then quickly responded, “Oh no, we’re not like that, I’m, we’re cousins. I’m single, completely heterosexual.” The woman smiled seemingly relieved, then gestured toward an office. The three stepped inside, sat down.  
“So I know that the house we had previously agreed upon was a already paid for and ready for you to move into but the owners raised the price as soon as your payment went through. I don’t know if you still wanted the house, of course if you don’t we’ll give you a complete refund, and keep looking.” Amy paused and observed the calm dirty-blond man, he smiled softly then laughed. She was astonished by the mans confidence.   
“The price doesn’t matter, we’ll take the house, I imagine we can move today?” James (Dean) questioned. The man next to him observed the conversation curiously, watching the two eye eachother from across the desk.  
“Y-yes, of course I’ll contact the owners immediately, If you want I can call my driver to take you to the house?” The blonde stumbled making Dean smirk. He stood from the desk and shook the woman’s hand, walking to the doorway.  
“It’s fine, I know the address, come on Blake.” The men left but not before the women noticed the blue-eyed man glare at her.  
I’m not sure that they aren’t together. She thought trying to rid the thought of Jame’s devilish smirk.


	3. Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deep conversations between the boys. They move, and Castiel has a bit of a fantasy in the shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the warnings begin. A bit of Megstiel, but don't worry destiel.

“This reminds me of something…” Castiel said staring along the grey coastline. Waves crashed into clean, sandy beaches, a green lush tree line meeting up with rocky shores. He could see the life, he felt it, deep inside him the way he had felt it millions of years before. The dawning of new life, in a simple grey fish.  
“Of what?” Dean asked, admiring the quietness and peace that the empty space brought him, he was glad he had picked a house farther away.  
“Humanity, the beginning of it.” His blue eyes seemed to change color, greys swirled along his iris and blues became darker then lighter.  
Dean looked at him quizzically, he almost forgotten how old Castiel really was, how much he had seen. “What was that like, seeing the evolution of it all?” He was curious, the angel had never really talked about it, seeing the human race develop, grow, destroy. They had never spoken like this. This was something different, something deeper.  
“It’s hard to describe really...” He looked thoughtful for a moment. “I remember standing at a coastline, much like this, but older, cleaner and an older brother warning me to be careful, that that little grey fish, heaving, struggling, to climb onto that beach, had plans bigger than mine.” He looked deep in thought. “At the time I didn’t really understand but now I realize the beauty it all, humanity is beautiful.”  
Dean was almost in awe, Castiel was-is- an angel. He hadn’t ever fully grasped that, and perhaps never would. Castiel went on ,”That fish, evolved into so much more. People, culture, religion, emotion, color, it went on to do so much, and I was there to witness it all.”  
“Like what?” Dean desperately wanted him to go on. He didn’t even need to look at the angel to know that his eyes where on him. Burning into the side of his head.  
“The beginnings of it all. Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, The Tower of Babel, Sodom and Gomorrah, David and Goliath then of course, the beginnings of technology, the first wheel, clock, light. I saw motherhood and love from the very beginning, in the way Eve held her children.”  
“Not all of it was beautiful right?” Castiel paused, he shook his head.  
“Of course not.” The two were silent. Dean deep in thought, the other his eyes closed. Castiel saw it all, and for the first time it was almost too much.  
Dean turned into a secluded, graveled driveway and parked. Flower gardens and fruit trees surrounded the pale blue house, in the distance a green lawn, stretched and faded into a tree line. The new house reminded him of Bobby’s in old pictures, before his wife Karen had died.  
“It’s nice.” Castiel said smiling, his eyes drifted to the garden and lit up.  
“Course it is, has to be since we’ll be living here.” Dean trudged up the white stairs and quickly unlocked the door, stepping inside. Cas followed. “I like the kitchen.” Dean said appearing from the doorway to Cas’s left. “Come on, let’s look upstairs.” A window from the top, shined down lighting the stairs and entrance into the house.   
“I call dibs.” , Dean said inside a light grey room with a view toward the distant coast. Castiel nodded, although he wasn’t paying attention, his gaze was still transfixed on the water ahead. “Cas, Cas? Lets go find you a room.” The hallway was painted white, and led out toward a shaded terrace. “Do you want this one?” Dean asked stopping inside a green room, with two large windows. The room itself was larger then Dean’s and had a bathroom attached to it.  
“Yes, Dean ,it’s very…large. What am I going to put in it?” Cas asked walking around it, before pulling off the sweater draping it on the door handle.  
“I don’t know anything you want to really. We’ll be staying here for awhile, so get comfortable.” Deans phone began buzzing so he walked out into the hallway answering it. It was Sam. Castiel walked out into the hallway with Dean listening to their conversation.  
“You bought a house?” Sam asked disbelievingly from the other line.  
“Yes, Sam that’s what you do, when you move.” Dean replied sarcastically.  
“But you aren’t moving. Besides how did you even get the money?”  
“How do you think?”  
“Really Dean? You don’t think people-“  
“They wont, I don’t get why you’re throwing a bitch fit. It’s just a house, anyways now we have property.”  
“That’s besides the point.”  
“No it isn’t, look I got to go, me and Cas need to go buy furniture and I need to finish the payment. Call if you actually need something next time.” He said hanging up.   
^^^  
Over the next few days. The boys had begun moving into the house. Boxes arrived and even a family from down the road had offered to help them. Dean had been weary but by Castiel’s reassurance he allowed them to help. The house over the next week was actually a home. Dishes were in the sink, shoes by the door, and closets filled. Even if there was a hole left by the absence of Sam.  
Dean was in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal in his pajamas when Cas stumbled into the kitchen. He had bed head and his white tee was wrinkled.  
“Well, morning sunshine.” Dean laughed at the tired man who was now sitting across from him, head on table. “Whats up with you, thought angels didn’t sleep?”  
“They don’t.” Cas grumbled sleep still hung on his voice.  
“Should I ask Sam?” Dean asked mid swallow.  
“Already did.”  
“What did he say?”  
“He said he’d look into it.”  
“Maybe it’s some sort of angelic illness.” He said standing up, dumping his dishes in the sink.  
“Doubt it, it’s always jarring when I’m human again.” He yawned and started peeling an orange that was on the island.  
“You think that’s whats going on, you’re turning human?” he leaned against the counter.  
“Feels that way. I urinate, I hunger, thirst, now I sleep. Same as before.” He stuffed an orange slice into his mouth.  
“I’ll ask Sam again.” He took a swig of coffee. “And Cas maybe you should shower, I can smell you from here.” Dean exited the room with a cup of coffee and newspaper. Cas glared in his direction before smelling his armpit and crinkling his nose in disgust. “I promise we’ll figure this out.”  
^^^  
Steam fogged up the bathroom mirror. Castiel had his face up against the stream of hot water. Below him, across the large expanses of toned muscle his dick began to harden. He sighed and started to massage his scalp. He had missed this, cleansing, relaxation, heat. The hot water ran over his now red angry dick. He tried to ignore it, and enjoy the quiet peace that showering had brought him but it was throbbing with need.  
The angel leaned against the cool shower wall and gasped as his hand gently grasped his hard cock. He ran his thumb against the tip, circling the head. Images of his conquests as a human filled his mind. Women moaning, arching into his touch with need, clawing his back when their apex of emotion became to much. He replayed a memory close to his heart. The kiss with Meg, his mouth forcefully overwhelming hers, her hands gripping his hair, the promise of something more. He remembered their hot breaths mingling together then something strange happened. Instead of soft lips and feminine hands their was a sharp jar making its way down his chest, calloused hands running down the curve of his back.  
Castiel gasped, stroking his cock faster then before. In his fantasy, the man mouthed his cock. Swallowing and bobbing pulling Cas deeper and deeper into oblivion. Castiel gasped. The man sped up, fingers twisting rubbing his pert nipples. He stilled, gasped began to shake. Cum drifted down the drain, running down his stomach and legs with the now luke warm water. He panted, eyes closed reliving the last moments when a pair of green eyes stared needingly into his own.


	4. Holding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little Dean and Cas fluff to move the story along.

Castiel leaned exhausted against the now cold shower walls. It had been awhile since that had happened, and every time it was always a little too jarring, a little to real. With shaky hands he turned off the water and stepped into the steamy bathroom, he grabbed a white towel and quickly began to dry off.   
Feeling sated he moved towards the sink and wiped the steam away. Blue eyes staring back at each other. His dark hair lay pushed back against his forehead and he sighed. When he was human he always felt closer to his vessel. He was angel but now it had been so long that this vessel wasn’t Jimmy Novak any longer, it was his own. The crows feet beginning by his eyes, his muscled body, the scars he now had, they were him in every way that Castiel knew how. They were him, mind, body, and soul. He had experienced so much that he knew that if everything did end he would remain as this Castiel, in this form. This was the body that he had fought in, saved in. The body that Sam and Dean knew him by.   
His own.  
Sighing he quickly brushed his teeth and stepped out into his barely lived in bedroom.   
It was Dean, Dean sitting on the edge of his bed staring out into the cloudy sky. Cas stood still watching the hunched form of Dean. He heard his breaths and with what was left of his grace, he heard Dean’s heartbeat. Strong, sturdy, safe.   
“Dean.”   
“Cas.” Dean said not meeting eye contact. Castiel brushed him off, walking to the closet. Flashes of what had happened in the shower made him blush. “What were you doing in the shower?” Castiel froze, towel hung low on his hips. His heart beat fast. The hunter had heard him. The grunts, the moans, maybe even a name that he couldn’t remember saying. He couldn’t move, this was the most embarrassment that he ever felt in his entire existence as a human being.  
“Bathing.” He said swiftly finding a white tee-shirt and black jeans, his go to outfit as of late.  
“Really? That’s not what it sounded like.” Dean said knowingly, standing up from the bed. “What were you thinking about Cas?” He pried stepping closer to the damp angel. Dean’s heart beat faster as he became closer to the flushed angel. Cas’s skin was damp and red and hot from the shower. Intoxicating.   
They were standing so close now that their breaths mixed together. Mint and coffee. Their arms ghosted across from each other, neither of them moving. Dean couldn’t step away, he was stuck. Like they were being pulled together. Dean stooped down a little closer to Castiel, they’re lips brushed, Cas sighed against Dean’s lips, too afraid to move closer. “Dean?” He whispered hesitantly. His heart was beating so fast, like it was going to break.  
“Cas, what do you want?” Dean asked caressing the angels forearm.  
Cas sighed hotly, “You Dean, I’ve only ever wanted you.” And then they were kissing, Dean’s chapped lips moving lovingly against Castiel’s own. The first kiss. And it was perfect. It was love, Castiel knew this even if it seemed foreign. This was them expressing the love that maybe had always been there.   
Dean was surprised. Cas, his angel, was kissing him, pushing against him, breathing Dean in. It was real. Too real, and it wasn’t okay. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Why did he do this? Suddenly everything came crashing down to him, they’re tongues were brushing against each other, mouths hungry, and then Dean nipped Cas’s lip,, and the angel-his angel-moaned. He froze. This had to stop.  
The hunter stumbled back away from Castiel panting. “Dean?” Cas asked his voice heavy and husky. “What’s wrong Dean?” He was confused.  
“I can’t do this, I can’t, I’m sorry.” Cas watched as he rushed out of the room with sad eyes.  
I love you.

^^^

“Dammit Sam answer your phone.” Dean groaned, slamming his cell against the marble counter. He stood up and walked across the kitchen to the liquor cabinet, pulling out a bottle of whisky. “This wasn’t supposed to happen!” He grabbed the bottle and stormed up the stairs into his dark lit room. He sat on his bed, ran his hands thru his hair, then slammed down a shot of whiskey.  
Dark thoughts burned and strangled him, snakes of bad memories twisted down poisoning his heart. The only thing that felt right was alcohol. Soothing the bad memories. His head swam, twisting in and out of reality. And suddenly he was at the stairs, vision blurry, fading. He had to do something, what was it, it was important. He tried to take a step, “Woah, the floor moved.” He tried to take another step, he remembered, Cas, he had to tell Cas.  
Cas, Cas I’m sorry, I can’t, I want to, but I can’t. I destroy everything I touch.  
And Dean was falling, numbly he watched the ceiling move farther away.   
This is what it must feel like, falling from heaven.   
And then it was dark. Vaguely, there was a voice, sounding so far away and arms, strong, familiar arms, Arms that shook yet still protected. A voice pushed through the alcohol induced sleep.  
Falling into you…  
^^^  
Somehow Dean awoke to Cas’s arms around him, he was completely calm. Of course he was scared, confused but this moment, felt right even if his heart was beating a little too fast. Perhaps, he could just be.  
“You can Dean.” Cas whispered, pulling the hunter closer. Their warm skin rubbing against eachother. The two finding comfort in the touch.  
“I hate it when you do that.” Dean grunted digging his head into the angels pillow. Having never been held like this before, he couldn’t look into Castiel’s eyes. He knew he would break if he did.  
“You’re adorable…” Cas’s warm breath caressed the back of Deans neck, making him shiver.  
“Don’t say that.”  
“Why? It’s true, you’re adorable Dean, and strong so much stronger than I am…”  
“Stop Cas, please…”  
“Dean…I love you.”   
Dean groaned and turned over finally looking into the angel’s eyes. Like before they seemed deeper, truer than anything that Dean had ever seen. Purer than his grace. “You don’t even know what love is.” Dean pushed his face closer to Castiels allowing their noses to touch, he closed his eyes. Castiel’s breathing was calm, steady, the most beautiful thing that Dean had ever imagined.  
“I do,” Cas mumbled caressing the hunters cheek ,”I always have, I’m just now starting to understand it. And it’s you.” He pushed they’re lips together again. Not as intense as the one before but just as perfect.  
“Cas I-“   
“It’s okay Dean, just sleep…I’ll be here, I’ll hold you.”  
And they did. The two men curled around eachother. Wet tears, and soft breaths mixing together. And when they were finally asleep two words left the hunters mouth.  
Thank you…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always feel awkward writing these...


End file.
